Relationship Difficulties

Relationship difficulties refer to the challenges that arise between individuals in relationships of various sorts, including romantic, familial, friends, or in the workplace. Issues stemming from communication breakdown, friction over conflicting values, or unmet emotional needs can have a profound impact on our mental wellbeing.

According to the Office for National Statistics, nearly 42% of marriages in the UK end in divorce, and a 2015 survey of children attending child and adolescent mental health services found that family relationship problems were the single largest presenting issue, highlighting the prevalence of such challenges. The signs of relationship difficulties often include frequent arguments, emotional withdrawal, resentment, and a lack of intimacy, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

The impact of unresolved relationship issues can affect mental health, self-esteem, and overall life satisfaction. For example, when partners or kin struggle to connect, it can impact not only the individuals involved, but also children or other family members. Conversely, cultivating positive relationships can significantly enhance quality of life, contributing to emotional stability and resilience. Through their impact on health and happiness, our relationships can impact our ability to engage with and succeed in different areas of life, such as occupation and everyday functioning.

For those having relationship difficulties, there are different treatment options depending on the needs of those affected. Relationship counselling, such as provided by organisations like Relate, offers a supportive space for partners to explore their issues, both individually and together. Family therapy can also help address the needs of various members of the family, allowing each person space to lay out and address their own feelings and needs within the group. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can be effective on both a group and individual level, addressing negative thought patterns, identifying problematic areas in relationships, and improving communication. Self-help strategies such as reading relationship-focused literature can also foster understanding and personal growth. However, it is also important to recognise when a relationship is too damaging, unlikely to change, or potentially even dangerous, and therapy can also help identify when this is the case, and how to end harmful relationships.

Further information and resources:

• Relate UK
• Relationships Matter
• Gingerbread - Support for single parents

Recommended books:

• “Overcoming Relationship Problems 2nd Edition: A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques” by Dr Michael Crowe and Professor Kevan Wylie – Using evidence-based techniques drawn from cognitive behavioural and systematic family therapies, this self-help guide provides tools to help identify, approach, and overcome common issues that provoke and feed relationship difficulties.
• “Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships” by Nedra Tawwab – This book sensitively and constructively unpicks issues that arise in families, and acts as a guide to managing and reducing the impact they can have on our lives and wellbeing.
• “Conversations on Love: with Philippa Perry, Dolly Alderton, Roxane Gay, Stephen Grosz, Esther Perel, and many more” by Natasha Lunn – Lunn utilises the wisdom of experts including psychologists, relationship therapists, and dating columnists to consider love and relationships, and how and why they change over time.

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